Failure. Is it a burden or a Blessing in disguise?
Definition of failure "An act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful" That's a direct quote from google. Within a 15 second search. Pretty accurate. It's a word that provokes uncertainty in your mind. It's a word which our youth are feared by, and as a general species, are not accustomed to accept failure in certain situations. Our natural emotions that link with this word, is frustration, disappointment, a sense of letting others down. Perhaps a loss in self belief, a loss in confidence, maybe even anger setting in. Failure creates a mist, or a dark fog upon your road, dancing with your emotions and way of thinking, trying to possibly upset and take away your love and passion on the journey you set about aiming for. However, without fog. Without this mist that we're all challenged by. Would you be who you are today? Picture your life without ever experiencing failure. It looks odd doesn't it? Never feeling those raw emotions. I'm not just talking about failure in sport here. I'm talking about failure in all aspects of life. Work, relationships, everything. And I'll ask again. Would you be who you are today, if you've never experienced failure?
On a personal note, I'd say for every time I've had a successful moment, there is double, maybe even triple that in failure. One of my earliest recollections of feeling failure would be from signing my first football academy contract at the age of 9. Only for it to be terminated 6 weeks later due to financial implications within the professional club. Fast forward 2 years later. Through more failure, and some success. I'm invited to a 6 week trial to be scouted for a Championship level team. I play out my skin. I use fear as my motivator. Finally, the day comes. 12 boys are selected to progress. Two are not. I was one of the two. I was inconsolable. Distraught. Dreams shattered, again. Two big eye opening moments where I was meeting failure face on, at the age of 11. Now I'm fully aware that people go through a lot more during childhood, but they were two big moments in my sporting childhood that changed me immensely on my outlook of failing. The reason why? Because there is something special about that feeling of failure. Maybe it's within our ancestors' DNA. But you enter what is commonly known as, fight or flight mode. You either run away from your problems. Or face them head on. Time and time again, I've been knocked down and out, but I just keep getting, up. Fast forward, it's now 2016. I'm fully into my running career. My failures in the past had helped shape who I was at that moment. Made me head strong, tough, motivated to succeed. The training had been going superbly, running personal bests all over the country. However my biggest goal of the year was to reach my first Summer Olympic Trials. Competing in front of thousands of people. But I miss the standard to qualify by one whole second. And told "Sorry son, try again in 4 years". One second, so there I was again, in the hands of failure.
However, every time I get knocked down. It feels a little easier. Little more comfortable. Little more suited to my personality. Instead of falling on my face, I began to fall on my back, so I can meet failure face on. Instead of disappointment being the first emotion. I'm met with anger and motivation to put it right. A small smile broods softly on my face. You begin to realise that failure isn't your enemy. It's in fact your most honest friend. Your greatest sculptor in building your character. Your most loyal ally, in reshaping how you're going to respond to adversity. When you reach failure, it's not there to welcome you with open arms. But to be the safety net to land on. A shoulder to cry on, and to simply ask you one simple question. Sink, or swim my friend? It's your choice. Failure is there to show you how far you've come. It's there to be your motivator. It's there to allow you time to redesign, re-evaluate your system. How to make it work more consistently, more effectively. Sometimes failure serves us as a reflection to realise what you've lost and what to get back.
The message I'm trying to install here, good or bad. Is that, if you're someone who's recently been met with failure under any circumstance. Yes, wallow in it. Feel those emotions. Allow them to overwhelm you, and do not suppress them. But after a short time, maybe a day or two. Breathe, reflect, analyse. What led to this failure? Be truly honest with yourself when asking this. Because this is the time you're trying to identify the area, and to put things right. To put into another context, when a child undergoes an academic test. The results are giving the evidence for a teacher to identify what specific area's need to be worked on, in order for that child to improve in their academic learning. The same principle can be applied to running. Often, I'll ask my clients to undergo a time trial. Ranging from a distance of 3km to 5km. The goal? Try to run that distance in your quickest time. What I'm truly asking of them is to find their current limitation. Remember those two words. 'Current limitation'. Once I have the evidence of their result, this gives me enough information to design the most effective training block for that individual to progress to new limits and achieve more personal bests in their desired distance. The point I'm trying to make here, is that both teacher and coach are effectively seeking failure from their individuals, in order to understand what areas need to be worked on to create a more academically suited, or fitter individual. So when faced with failure, identify what areas need to be improved on, and allow failure to be your ally in doing so.
Look, life will continually be a consistent journey of success and failures. There are going to be days where it's difficult. Where motivation isn't high. A sense of feeling sorry for yourself. Not feeling inspired to push through. I understand that. As I've felt them too. However, the next time you're met with failure. Understand that it's not your enemy. It's your safety net. Your friend to reflect with. Your friend to redesign a better system with. To help guide you, and to finally push you to the success you wish to achieve.
